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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317359">Bonded</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrismPunkie/pseuds/PrismPunkie'>PrismPunkie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Sparkmate AU, Transformers Spark Bonds, ficlet turned fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:27:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317359</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrismPunkie/pseuds/PrismPunkie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodimus thought he was ignited without a sparkmate but one random check up leaves him with more questions than answers. He might not find what he's looking for when he goes asking Megatron what gives.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Megatron/Rodimus | Rodimus Prime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this tiny MegaRod ficlet awhile ago but it crept back up on me the other day to write more. No plan on where to go, just gonna write and see what happens. This first part is just the ficlet, more will follow. Also this was inspired by an <a href="https://dangerouslyclassyhottub.tumblr.com/post/189311281540/of-nyon-extremely-mean-megarod-au-idea-megatron">AU idea</a> from Of-Nyon on Tumblr</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>First Aid blinked behind his visor, unsure how such a routine check-up could have taken such a turn. He felt his tanks do a flip as he looked up at his Captain, who eyed him expectantly.</p><p>“Well? Am I dying or can I go now? I have some time scheduled with Drift before Magnus hunts me down for more paperwork.”</p><p>First Aid straightened up stiffly before raising a digit and opening his intake to reply. Except he didn’t have the words. So he promptly shut it after a few moments of silence.</p><p>“Ok ‘Aid, very funny, but the jokes over. You’re actually starting to scare me now.” Rodimus said as he tried to peer down into his own chest to see what was causing all the fuss.</p><p>“Um, just one moment Rodimus, I’ll be right back with Ratchet.” First Aid said quickly, he turned and was out the door before the Captain could call him back.</p><p>First Aid didn’t like admitting when he didn’t know what to do, but in this case he didn’t feel at all bad about seeking the help of Ratchet. This was much more personal than medical as it was, so he felt almost as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. He hoped Rodimus wouldn’t be angry with him for what he had seen–for what he now <em>knew</em> about the speedster.</p><p>“Is Rodimus’ check up done already?” Ratchet chimed as First Aid approached the CMO’s desk, “That was fast, he must be in a hurry–” Ratchet’s words faltered when he looked up for his work and caught the energy in First Aid’s field.</p><p>“Is something wrong?”</p><p>“Has uh,” First Aid looked around to make sure no one else was around and listening in, “Has Rodimus ever told you about his sparkmate– who it is?” First Aid asked hurriedly.</p><p>“He doesn’t have one, his spark ignited without a name on it’s casing.” Ratchet said, quirking a brow at him.</p><p>“But have you ever <em>looked</em>?” First Aid asked in a harsh whisper.</p><p>“What’s all this about ‘Aid?” Ratchet stood from his desk, leaning over at him.</p><p>“J-Just now, as I was checking his spark casing, I–uh… I saw a name.” First Aid shrank back a little as Ratchet’s optics narrowed.</p><p>“Though I’ve never checked myself,” Ratchet said slowly, “I’ve seen his medical files. It wasn’t ever some bluff he made, he really had no name on his casing.”</p><p>“Ratchet, I’m telling you,” First Aid said insistently, “There is a <em>name</em>.”</p><p>“Whose name?” Ratchet asked, still soundly incredulous.</p><p>That made First Aid pause. He didn’t even want to say it out loud. Doing so would acknowledge the very private thing he had seen.</p><p>“<em>Whose name</em>, ‘Aid?” Ratchet repeated, growling.</p><p>“You should probably see for yourself.” First Aid said after swallowing dryly around his words.</p>
<hr/><p>Rodimus flailed his arms after the medic as he left him sitting on the mediberth, his chestplates parted to the open and chilly air of the medbay.</p><p>He sat in silence, trying to keep his nerves from rising. He hadn’t had a flare up in years, now all of a sudden his casing was bothering him again. From the look on First Aid’s face, he might actually have something to worry about. He supposed his luck had to run out at some point. Perhaps breaking the Matrix meant that he had inadvertently caused himself damage? Maybe it had been keeping him alive this whole time and now that it was gone he was starting to die?</p><p>Rodimus chuckled airily to the empty room, “That would be a real bummer.”</p><p>He didn’t want to die. He still had so much he wanted to do still. He had so many things left undone, including his quest to find the Knights. He let out a shuddering breath and wondered briefly how many of those he had left in him.</p><p>He jolted in his seat as the door opened and Ratchet entered the room, First Aid in tow. He tried his best to put on a front of embarrassment.</p><p>“Ratchet! Knock first! I’m all exposed in here!” Rodimus chided, covering his spark with his hands and turning away coyly.</p><p>“Ain’t nothing I haven’t seen before.” Ratchet said as he approached. Despite his efforts, the medic definitely caught his nervousness in his field. As Ratchet projected comfort and reassurance with his own.</p><p>“So…” Rodimus looked between the medics, “Is something wrong?”</p><p>“No, not at all!” First Aid said quickly, “Nothing life-threatening, I assure you.”</p><p>“Gotta admit, that last part isn’t as reassuring as you think.” Rodimus said as he fidgeted with his hands.</p><p>“First Aid wanted me to double check something he thought he saw, Rodimus. It’s not a big deal.” Ratchet said, approaching and silently asking to see behind Rodimus’ still parted chest plates.</p><p>Rodimus narrowed his optics but allowed the medic to proceed. After all, if there was one bot he could trust with his life, it was Ratchet. He relaxed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to vent evenly. </p><p>The medic peered inside his casing, whispering to First Aid, “Where was it that you saw it?”</p><p>“Down here, see it there?”</p><p>“That looks like a weld.”</p><p>“No, just below it, it runs along the edge there.”</p><p>There was a pause before Ratchet uttered something that made Rodimus’ want to jump out of his plating.</p><p>“What? What is it?” Rodimus demanded angrily, sitting forward suddlenly.</p><p>“Calm down Rodim–”</p><p>“I will not be calm! I just heard you swear an oath to <em>Primus</em> out loud!” Rodimus thrust a digit at the medic, “Tell me what’s wrong right now!”</p><p>Ratchet turned to First Aid who was cowering behind him, “I’ll handle this from here, thank you for bringing it to my attention.”</p><p>The other medic nodded and retreated from the room, which was quickly beginning to heat up from Rodimus’ outburst. Ratchet drug over a stool and sat down in front of Rodimus.</p><p>“Firstly, I have a few questions. You’ll probably be able to see where I’m going with them.” Ratchet unsubspaced a datapad, “The first thing I want to know is if you have ever faked any of your medical files.”</p><p>Rodimus was taken aback, “No? Why would I need to?”</p><p>“Your medical files confirm that you were ignited without a sparkmate’s glyphs on your casing.”</p><p>“Yes, I even looked a few times myself with a mirror… Ratchet, why?” Rodimus felt a little numb, he could see where this was going, but his processor didn’t want to jump ahead.</p><p>“Well,” Ratchet paused to scratch his chin, “Hot Rod might not have had a sparkmate… but <em>Rodimus Prime</em> does.”</p><p>There was a pregnant pause between the two. Rodimus almost <em>glared</em> in disbelief.</p><p>“How is that possible?” Rodimus asked after a long time.</p><p>“No idea. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard of it.” Ratchet said.</p><p>There was an air of tension surrounding Ratchet still. Which made Rodimus hesitant to ask what he was dying to ask.</p><p>“So,” Rodimus started, “Who…?”</p><p>Ratchet’s face fell for a moment, “Just so you are reminded, me and ‘Aid are sworn to confidentiality, we won’t ever tell anyone.”</p><p>Rodimus didn’t like that answer, “Ratchet you’re kind of scaring me.”</p><p>“To be honest, I’m a little scared too kid.” Ratchet unsubspaced a mirror, “You should probably see for yourself. I’m afraid you might not believe me.”</p><p>Rodimus gently took the mirror and, with Ratchet’s guidance, found the name on his casing.</p><p>“Who is… Nortagem?” Rodimus quirked a brow ridge at the medic who gave him an exasperated look.</p><p>“Read it backwards.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Glitch Who Wronged Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rodimus confronts Megatron.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus wasn’t thinking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus was <em>fuming</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After realizing just what name was written on his spark casing, he had very quickly gone from stunned to freaking <em>pissed</em>. He was confused and angry and he wanted answers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But somehow this all made <em>sense</em> in a way?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why his conversations with the silver mech had become increasingly more relaxed. Why he had been able to become so accustomed to having him around so quickly. Why he just felt this <em>pull</em> to him. Before now, Rodimus had never had to be in such close proximity to him for any extended period, there was no time to <em>feel</em> the bond… Now he had no such luxury, they had to be together on the daily, he couldn’t have escaped the feelings growing in his spark. If he had known what it was, that the silver mech was his <em>sparkmate</em>… He didn’t know if he would have tried harder to withstand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">None of that mattered now. <em>Now</em> he knew. And he was questioning: did Megatron know? Or did the name appear suddenly the way Rodimus’ did? And if he did know, why would he not tell Rodimus? Actually Rodimus could think of a lot of reasons why and all of them made his spark hurt.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was still a chance he didn’t know. That he had never even looked. A lot of bots stopped looking, even before the war. It became one of the great mysteries of life, so you could go to a medic to find out or just leave it to chance. Many thought there was something exciting about not knowing and others thought the whole sparkmate thing was nonsense, that you could find love without it even being there. Some, though very few, even went as far as having the glyphs <em>welded ove</em>r. A rejection of the mere concept.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus could hear Ratchet behind him, he was shouting but Rodimus wasn’t hearing. He headed right for the bridge. Right where he knew <em>he</em> would be. He burst onto the bridge stomping inside and marching right up to where the silver mech sat, reading a data pad like he had not a care in the universe. Completely and utterly oblivious to the turmoil Rodimus was experiencing, and that only served to make him angrier.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus stood there, glaring at Megatron who hadn’t even the slightest respect to look up at him from his data pad. The temperature was rising around him and he did his level best to keep himself contained but the crew were beginning to look up at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you need something Rodimus?” Megatron said, so relaxed and calm that it broke Rodimus a little.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He threw a punch right across his face before he could even think to stop himself. Megatron fell from the captain’s chair with a grunt of pain. He didn’t stay down long however, getting immediately to his pedes and right into Rodimus’ face. Every ounce of menace the silver mech had rose to the surface and Rodimus felt a twinge of fear darken his spark for a moment. He refused to shrink behind it and he glared right back into those cold red optics.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What is your problem, Rodimus?!” Megatron shouted directly into his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus still didn’t have the words, he opened his mouth and only a growl came out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He noticed that the crew were all on their feet now too, staring at their captains. Some of them were reaching for their weapons, waiting for the other foot to drop. Waiting for Megatron to try and hurt him. The sad fact was that Megatron didn’t have to even touch him to hurt him. He could feel it now, the anger and humiliation that was emanating down the bond was all too apparent now. It was getting stronger from just the proximity alone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus watched Megatron’s face as he sent feedback through the tenuous bond, feeling it splinter under the weight of his emotions. And it got the desired effect.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron’s optics widened and all his menace dropped, his jaw going completely slack.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>So he knew all a long.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally, Rodimus found his words, “<em>You</em>?!”</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron felt like the room was spiraling. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tiny bond he had felt for months now fractured painfully as Rodimus overexerted it’s capacity, the speedster’s anger and confusion and pain all too apparent to him now. Megatron clamped down on it, cutting it off and numbing himself. He didn’t want to know anymore, he couldn’t take it. Now that Rodimus knew, it was all over. He was disgusted just like he thought he would be and Megatron couldn’t take feeling the rejection as well as hearing it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron grabbed the speedster’s arm, gritting his dentae as the plating burned him, and dragged him off the bridge to his private office. He couldn’t hash this out in front of the crew. The less everyone knew the better. Once inside Rodimus was immediately shouting at him, his earlier loss for words apparently forgotten now.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You knew! You son of a glitch!” Rodimus pointed a digit at him and Megatron batted the hand away as he shushed him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bots will <em>hear</em> you!” Megatron hissed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus only flared hotter at that, turning the temperature up to a boiling degree, sparks flying off of him, “We can’t have that now can we?!” He spat in response. Megatron’s spark wilted under Rodimus’ hatred. He knew he should have seen this coming but it still hurt. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The idea of sparkmates had always been alien to him. When he first found the glyphs himself he had wondered what mech would go by the strange name of ‘Rodimus’. He searched for a short time in his early years but when the war happened his processor simply pushed the idea of a sparkmate away entirely. A sparkmate meant weakness, vulnerability that he couldn’t afford. Little did he know that his war would be what created his sparkmate. That, in killing Hot Rod, Rodimus would take his place. He had all but forgotten the name but when he heard it said for the first time he nearly choked. The new Prime was his bonded. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At first he hated it, it seemed only like a cruel joke the universe decided to play on him, so he ignored Rodimus and scoffed at his existence. Those forged from Tarn didn’t need sparkmates after all. But when he joined the Lost Light he finally saw differently. His knowledge of the bond made it all too plain for him. He could use it to read Rodimus’ innermost feelings, to understand him. Vaguely at least, since it was not a whole bond, not even close to one. A whole bond had to be consummated, a level that they would never reach and Megatron never even hoped for. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t still drawn to him, almost unwillingly, and although he had tried to keep himself from feeling anything for the speedster, his efforts proved to be in vain. Now more apparent than ever by the sting of rejection he felt. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The worse had come to pass, Rodimus found out only to come and literally slap him in the face with it. He could only imagine what must be going through Rodimus’ helm. Having to be bonded to the mech who tried to kill him, to a mech who was responsible for so much death and destruction. If there was anything that Megatron had learned in these past few months, it was that Rodimus deserved far better than him. And he wasn’t about to let Rodimus think otherwise. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How could you keep this from me?” Rodimus whispered angrily, thankfully heeding Megatron’s wish to be quiet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Because it doesn’t matter.” Megatron said gruffly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Doesn’t <em>matter</em>? We’re bonded! How could that not matter?” Rodimus’ voice rose again in anger.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s an old and tired notion Rodimus, nothing more.” Megatron reasoned tiredly, “We shouldn’t feel obligated to it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus blanched at his words and Megatron wished he could open the bond to feel what that had been but he couldn’t let himself. If he did he feared his spark might not recover from what if found.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How can you say that?” Rodimus said, disgust written all over his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Because you didn’t exist until I shot you.” Megatron admitted roughly, “What kind of awful joke is that?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus snarled at him, “Is that why didn’t you at least <em>tell</em> me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron huffed, “To what effect? What outcome do you think would have happened? You still would have been angry.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How can you be so cold about this?” Rodimus hissed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you expect from me?,” Megatron whispered lowly, “I come from Tarn, where we didn’t get <em>checked</em> for sparkmates. It was never seen as necessary and by the time I was cold-constructed, the idea had become <em>obsolete</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rodimus frowned, “How did you find out?” His blue optics pierced through him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I,” Megatron faltered over his next words, “I looked for it myself.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?” Rodimus said gently shaking his helm in confusion.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron looked into his blazing blue optics, feeling the scorn from them burning him. He couldn’t hold his gaze and he looked down as he replied.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To know what I had to fear.” Megatron whispered. A lie.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silence fell over them and he could hear Rodimus grinding his dentae. The speedster turned away from him, clearly unable to stand looking at him anymore. Despite the cold feeling in his spark, he found he could breathe easier now that it was done. Now that this was over and he didn’t have to be terrified of Rodimus’ reaction anymore. He had survived it. Several seconds passed and Rodimus didn’t say anything, he stood there trembling with his back still to Megatron. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“For what it’s worth… I am sorry.” Megatron said to break the silence and to hopefully ease the pain Rodimus was in. The speedster was quiet for a long time still.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Does anyone else know…?” He asked quietly at last.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not anyone alive. And no medic now can ever find out. Not through me at least.” Megatron said, feeling his tone growing flatter by the word.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You mean… you…?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron nodded despite knowing Rodimus wasn’t looking at him, “Carved them out myself 4 million years ago. So that no one else would know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The silence resumed for a moment before Rodimus burst out of the door. Leaving him without another word. Only then did Megatron cover his mouth to muffle the sob that escaped him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This universe is getting under my skin. Thinking about the implications of sparkmates and how the war may have affected it. So yeah, I hope you liked the chapter XD It's gonna be a bit of an angst-fest for a little while but just like all my other works I do guarantee a happy ending ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Perceptions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Megatron needs help seeing things clearly.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Things on the Lost Light grew to be… Very awkward after the falling out between Megatron and Rodimus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron tried to keep things reasonable between them, giving the speedster his space in the hopes to mend what little of a work relationship they had left. But every time they were in the same room the air would tense and Rodimus would cross his arms for the length of any conversation they had to have. Most of the dialogue of which was comprised of ‘yes’ or ‘no.’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Much of the crew also sensed the tension between them. If they found themselves occupying the same room as their co-captains they would quickly vacate, favoring to be anywhere <em>but their vicinity</em>. Megatron could hardly blame them considering how close he and Rodimus came to blows the other day. Even if none of them had guessed what was going on, it was clear it was personal and personal matters were always messy. Which is why Megatron prayed all of this would blow over soon so he could get back to the relative normal of living on this ship. He missed being able to relax around his command, read data pads on the bridge without the fear of being right-hooked out of his chair. Most of all… He missed Rodimus. The speedster never wanted to be around him anymore. He only stayed if he had to and even then it was usually by the demand of Ultra Magnus.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron sighed, knowing that their relationship, the casual one he had tentatively built with Rodimus, was gone now. Rodimus would no longer stand next to him on the bridge and point out new constellations he made up. Nor would he casually mention what he was going to be doing later in a thinly veiled attempt to befriend him. Which Megatron didn’t even realize had worked so well on him until now. He <em>had</em> been Rodimus’ friend. They had been closer than he had ever expected them to become…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s for the best. Megatron reminded himself that Rodimus was better off without him and that whatever he himself wanted didn’t matter. If Rodimus was found out to be his bonded… He was scared about what mechs would say about him. No, it was better this way. This way, Rodimus could keep his respect, his command, and his friends. Megatron could live with the repercussions if it mean that Rodimus would be okay.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“SIR?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron jumped and looked over at Siren who was standing right beside him, “You don’t have to be so loud, I’m standing right here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“YES SIR, I WAS JUST COMING TO INFORM YOU THAT PERCEPTOR REQUESTED YOU IN THE LAB AN HOUR AGO.” Siren said, quieting only a fraction.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron grimaced and rubbed at his audial, “Right, let him know I’ll be there soon.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He turned to leave quickly as Siren took a deep vent before replying, “SIR, YES SIR.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As much and Megatron enjoyed Siren’s enthusiasm, he got the feeling sometimes that he was doing that on purpose, if the giggling from the other bots on the bridge was anything to go by.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The trip to Perceptor’s lab was a quick walk from the bridge, but he stopped when he felt a familiar tug on his spark. He looked around as it disappeared, knowing that Rodimus must have been nearby. The bond wasn’t very strong and so he could only feel it when they were very close, if at all. He wondered if Rodimus had felt it too or if he wasn’t as sensitive to it since he hadn’t known it was there until recently. Not to mention Megatron had closed his end off for some time while things settled down. This was the first time he’d felt anything from the speedster in days. Sadly, Rodimus must have only been passing by somewhere because Megatron couldn’t feel anything else after that. He mentally shook himself and continued on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he reached the lab he was almost struck in the face by flapping winglets, as Brainstorm twirled around through the doorway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And if you’re ever feeling dangerous Percy, come by my workshop,” The teal jet said excitedly, “You won’t regret it! Ah, Megatron, good seeing you.” Brainstorm said with a flourish of his wings before departing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blinking multiple times, Megatron turned to the red microscope that stood in the doorway, “He sounded rather chipper. What did you do to him?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Asked him to be my lab partner. But I have something I need to discuss with you, please come inside.” Perceptor said, moving aside and shutting the door as soon as Megatron was within.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron waited as the smaller mech moved across the room to pull up a seat but was surprised when Perceptor offered it to him instead of taking it for himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do I <em>need</em> to be seated for this?” Megatron asked cautiously as he sat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not really, I just thought I would be accommodating, Brainstorm says… Nevermind.” Perceptor moved to stand by a table with his latest experiment sitting on it, “To be blunt, I called you here to talk about your bond with Rodimus.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron felt his optics go wide, “How do you know about the bond?” He asked, paranoid that maybe they hadn’t been as discreet as he thought.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My name isn’t just because I turn into a microscope. I’m far more perceptive than mechs give me credit for.” Perceptor crossed his arms, “I knew you were bonded to someone on the ship purely because you displayed the signs of being near your bonded. I wasn’t sure who it was until Rodimus had his blow up on the bridge, right after a spark check up too. It doesn’t take a physicist to put two and two together.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron trembled in anger, rising from his seat, “If you tell anyone about this—!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s no need for empty threats, I’m not going to tell anyone.” Perceptor droned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Empty?” Megatron growled.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, because you can’t lay a finger on me unless you want this ship turned around so fast it’ll make that bucket fly off your helm,” Perceptor turned back to his experiment for a moment, “Not to mention, what Rodimus would think.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron raged beneath his optics, burning holes into the back of the scientist’s helm. But he took his seat again knowing the microscope was correct in his assumptions and hating him for it. He hated that he was so easily manipulated into being compliant and he hated that the last part of Perceptor’s statement is what got to him most. Even though he had given up the hope of being with the speedster, his processor and spark still cared about what Rodimus thought of him. Megatron still wanted to be worthy of him even though he knew it would never happen—<em>shouldn’t happen</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Getting back to the point,” Perceptor jotted down a few notes on his data pad before turning to face him again, “You need to do something about Rodimus, he’s gone from being a functioning captain to absent at best. Ultra Magnus is losing faith in him, and it’ll only be so long before the crew follows suit.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me?” Megatron asked, bewildered, “Why not one of his <em>actual</em> friends? Drift would be more than capable of—”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Drift and Rodimus haven’t been the same since Ratchet brought him back to the ship.” Perceptor responded, shaking his helm, “More than that, it is a problem <em>you</em> caused and you are the only one who can change it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron’s mouth opened and closed several times as he tried to find a response, “Rodimus is just sulking. He’ll get over it, he always does, we just have to give him some time.” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more than Perceptor…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Perceptor shook his helm, “Megatron, I’m sorry to say that you don’t understand the severity of the situation.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Severity?” Megatron asked, utterly confused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, you see while in Tarn they didn’t care who you had written on your spark because they wrongly thought you were disposable. In Nyon it was incredibly important to their culture. Being ignited with out a sparkmate’s glyphs on your casing was sometimes seen as a sign that your calling was higher, that you were important to Primus.” Perceptor paused, his concentrated gaze burning a hole in him, “A lot of bots were also ostracized for it as well,” Perceptor continued, “Hot Rod was lucky enough to fall in with a more religious sect that viewed him positively.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So Rodimus is angry because he suddenly isn’t important to Primus anymore?” Megatron scoffed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Perceptor shook his helm, “Hot Rod never wanted to be important to Primus. In his short time in the Wreckers, I never remember hearing him brag about not having a sparkmate like most bots did during the war. Once, I caught him looking in his spark casing with a mirror and he gave me a poor excuse why he was doing it. From then on I suspected that he secretly hoped that the medics had been wrong, that they had missed something.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Perceptor looked down and his own hands, “I’ve never been very good with affairs that deal with personal feelings, I never quite know what to say despite knowing what’s going on. So I remained quiet… Sometimes I wish I had said something.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you getting at?” Megatron asked feeling his spark falter with every word, “What does this have to do with me fixing this problem?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Perceptor sighed and shook his helm at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe he was surprised or confused, I’m sure he never imagined in all his functioning that if it did happen, that it would be you of all mechs,” Perceptor said, making no effort to hide his own disapproval, “You hurt him Megatron. Your blatant disregard for his feelings… That you had known and never told him when he had been waiting for so long… When it came down to it, you didn’t care enough to tell him. That’s what hurt him the most.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron sighed with more aggravation, “I did it for him. Because if he knew then he would have just been disappointed. I was trying to protect him. He’s better off without me as his bonded.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How do you know that? Have you even thought about what Rodimus <em>wants</em>? He grew up alone Megatron, completely alone in a city that held sparkmates in such high regard,” Perceptor explained, “Try to understand, his perspective about you is more conflicted than angry. He wanted a sparkmate, he would never say it to anyone, but I’m almost positive that’s how he feels.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron continued to shake his helm, “Why would he <em>want</em> a sparkmate? Plenty of mechs have already proven that the bond from them is the same as if you chose your own bonded. All it does is take the guess work out of it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you asking why he would want a sparkmate or why he would want <em>you</em>?” Perceptor crossed his arms again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron felt his intake flap open, with no words to retort what Perceptor was saying. In his processor he was still trying to process Rodimus even <em>wanting</em> to be his bonded. He should hate Megatron, he should see him as a black mark in the universe. Or that’s what Megatron thought… Maybe Rodimus didn’t see him that way because of their time together. Maybe the bond that they had, however small, had changed his perspective. He hated the thought that he had manipulated the speedster in any way… He heard Perceptor sigh and refocused on the mech who looked suddenly very tired.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you know that MTOs had their sparkmate’s name welded over without their knowledge?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron blinked, confused by the sudden shift in topic, “I—I heard of it, yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t.” Perceptor admitted quietly, “I thought… I thought my sparkmate didn’t want me… Turns out he didn’t know— He still doesn’t know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Realization dawned on Megatron, “You mean… you and <em>Brainstorm</em>?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Perceptor nodded, a funny little smile in his lips, “After joining the Lost Light I thought for sure he would bring it up, but he never did. So I looked into the little research there was on it. Found out the effects of proximity with your bonded… And that MTOs weren’t told their sparkmate’s names so that they wouldn’t put them above their duty. They didn’t even keep records for them because it was assumed they would all die in their first battle anyway.” He finished bitterly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron remained quiet, staring across the small gap between them that felt like it was an ocean. He was beginning to understand Perceptor now…</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was angry with him.” Perceptor looked Megatron in the optic, his gaze intense, “Because he was just… ignoring me. When I met him for the first time he just introduced himself and <em>left</em>. It hurt. I figured he wanted nothing to do with me so I returned the sentiment.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did being around him change that?” Megatron asked, feeling the nagging question in the back of his helm, “Did the bond <em>influence</em> you?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s difficult to say,” Perceptor grimaced, “All the research suggests that being near your bonded, even without knowing it, causes you to become closer. But for me it just made me mindful of him when he was close by. Maybe it was different for Brainstorm, he did start warming up to me very quickly, but I don’t really have a straight answer.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron put a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Regardless,” Perceptor said, “I can vividly imagine how Rodimus is feeling about this situation. And the only thing that helped me was realizing that Brainstorm wasn’t the villain I made him out to be. You need to give Rodimus a chance to come to terms with this. Whether or not you accept him as your bonded is your decision, but you need to try and make peace with him either way.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron found himself nodding, “You’re right. I was… thinking about this all wrong,” He said, knowing he didn’t owe the scientist an explanation but wanting to get it off his chest, “I thought Rodimus would hate me as much as I hate myself… Thought that the crew would lose all respect for him if we were sparkmates… So I told him we were better off ignoring it. But he—He should make that decision, not me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Both of you should make that decision.” Perceptor corrected, “Being bonded is a two-way street Megatron. Neither of you should hold power over the other. Decide what you want and see if it matches what he wants.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron chuckled mirthlessly, “You know how it feels to be near your bonded, if Brainstorm outright said he wanted to be with you, could you tell him no?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Perceptor frowned, “I haven’t made up my mind about it yet…” He whispered.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron arched a brow at him, “Oh right, you haven’t told him yet,” he said snidely, “How does that saying go… Pot calling the kettle black?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m <em>going</em> to tell him,” Perceptor defended, putting his hands on his hips, “The difference between <em>us</em>, is that you never intended to tell Rodimus.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Megatron winced, having no retort, “You’re right… Sorry.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was no point in burying himself even further in this conversation. He would have to settle for being grateful that Perceptor stopped him from being a fool any longer. He would talk to Rodimus and sort this out. And maybe he would allow himself to hope that Rodimus really did want to be his bonded… Just the thought of which sent a burning regret deep in Megatron’s chest, right where the glyphs he’d carved out all those millions of years ago. He hoped at the very least, Rodimus would forgive him for that. Because Megatron had only ever wanted to keep him safe.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I rewrote this so many times lmao I feel like I can nitpick my writing for hours. Reconciliation next chapter? Maybe. Going to go slowly though so it might not be out until mid-October cuz I'm still writing a lot for my other fics. </p><p>Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter, if you want to see updates you can follow me on tumblr @ dangerouslyclassyhottub 👍 I post things about this fic under the tags my writing, bonded, and sparkmate au :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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